Lala (lalablue) wrote,

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Title - Lost (4/?)Not to be confused with the awesome series written by
Arthur - lalablue
Rating - PG - still
Pairing - It's Dom and another which I am not yet ready to reveal- Next
one- I promise.
Notes - unbeta'd. 612 words. First person, Dom's POV
Summary - Dom wouldn't give you the satisfaction of crying.

Part One, Part Two, PartThree

"Miss me?"

I don't know if you're trying to provoke me, or asking genuinely. I
still don't want to dignify you with a response. My skin is crawling and
I just want to be somewhere else at this very moment.

I can see Viggo taking luggage out of the back of his pick up. He's
eyeing the situation. He knows that I didn't want this confrontation. He
thinks he's doing me some good to face my demons.


You're actually serious. You want me to tell you I missed you and maybe
shed few tears.

Well I won't do that.

I won't let you break me like you did before. I wouldn't let you have
the satisfaction of knowing how much I missed you. How much my life has
gone to hell since you've been gone. How much I hate you but I can't
stop thinking about you. I won't tell you that when I'm fucking random
people I won't look at them, because I want to see you in my minds' eye.
I won't give you the glory of knowing my dirty little secrets.

I won't break down.

Why am I in your arms? Why are you comforting me? Didn't you hear me? I
won't breakdown. Don't rub my back and tell me it'll be okay now that
you're here. Don't kiss my forehead. Don't be the person I want you to

Don't let me fall back in love with you.

I find myself with salty tears running down my cheek, a crumpled pile
of emotions at Viggo's front door. Your arms wrapped around me.
Caressing me. I inhale you. Your essence. It's intoxicating. It hasn't
changed. For a fleeting moment I feel like I am back in New Zealand,
where things are okay. Where the only cares are how many rewrites will
we face tomorrow and when we will catch the next waves.

I look up into your eyes. The windows into your soul. You have lines
the wrinkle across your forehead. I've seen them before, especially when
you're worried.

"You should have called me. I would have come sooner."

"You said it wasn't forever. I let you go after New Zealand."

"You never really let go."

"Why did come back? You'll just leave me again."

Confusion clouded my head. I felt safe in your embrace. But it was
nothing more then a temporary fix. You would leave again. After the
premieres and award shows, you would leave me to return to your life.
The one you have successfully carved out for yourself.

I choked back some more tears and allowed myself to be comforted by
you. I missed the feeling of your arms. I always remember your touch.
It's distinctive. Your fingers always curl and trace my backbone when
you hug me.

"You and I are forever," your voice reverberates against my skin.

I pull back and look at you through tear stained eyes. Viggo walks by,
gently squeezes your shoulder and brings the luggage inside. You nod as
if to give silent agreement to my unasked question.

"We may go our separate ways now and then, but we always reconnect,"
you continued. "Always and forever."

I can't see you anymore. My eyes have filled with stinging wetness. I
want to believe you. I need to believe you. I hear the words I wanted to
hear. I hear the unspoken words. You tell me that you will always be
there in my time of need. You tell me that I can't live with you, but I
won't live without you.

You tell me that I am never really alone, and that if I feel lost,
you'll find me.

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