The Withered Lover
What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
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I thought this was funny.
This is the story of a young couple in Portland, Maine.
While waiting for her husband Don to return home from work, she
reaches for a can of anchovies. As she spreads the tiny fish across
a piece of lettuce, she notices a small note at the bottom of the
can. Written on it is a telephone number. Curious, she dials, and is
told, "Don't move, lady, we'll be right over." Placing the phone
back on the hook, she turns to see three smartly dressed men standing
in her kitchen doorway. Before she realizes what is happening to her,
she is rolled tightly in long sheets of cellophane, transported to an
international airport, and placed on a waiting jet-liner. All this being
too much for her to comprehend, she passes out.
Upon awakening, she finds herself in a strange, foreign speaking
nation. Alone, fearing her escape impossible, she seeks comfort in the
arms of a confidential agent. With the trace of her kiss still warm upon
his lips, he betrays her to the hands of three scientists who are
engaged in diabolical, avant-garde experiments previously performed only
on insects and other small, meaningless creatures. Using her as their
subject, they are delighted with the results. For the first time, a
human being is transformed into a ("shhh... top secret").
Meanwhile, back in Portland, Maine...
Her husband Don, now chain-smoking 40 packs of cigarettes a day,
sits at a local bar and has a few beers with the regulars. Bored,
everyone's attention turns to the television set that just hangs
from the wall. Suddenly, crazy Al says, "S-say, Don, there sure is
something familiar about that bowling ball." To which a terrified Don
replies, "Oh my God! That bowling ball! It's my wife!"
And the lesson we learn from this story is, next time you place your
order, don't forget to say, "No anchovies please."">
Life will go on. We will prevail.