July 26th, 2003

You best jump far

Pulling my hair out

So my mom doesn't want me to Las Vegas for my vacation. She wants to see me take a cruise. That means having to wear a bathing suit. That means I'll never find a man. Just kidding. Sean doesn't want me to go either. He fears I won't have fun. Alone. My mom fears I'll die from heat exhustion. My dad is just like- have fun- No matter what. This is your one shot. Take it. I love my dad. Mom wants me to use a travel agent- not the internet. Fine. I'll do that too.
I'm also think of getting a lap top. Wal mart had one- $998 w/ a printer scanner. I thought that was good deal. but of course - Sean was asking a million questions. I don't care how much memory it has. I have even used three % of what I got now. It would just be for travel. (like I really that often). But at least I could get out of this bedroom. and maybe go on the patio. I've got so much money to play with.
But I've got my exspenses covered. Car and rent. and I still have money to play with. I like that. I'm gonna use to my advantage. get the things I want and if anyone feels that greedy or selfish - fuck 'em.
It's my life. I have been so brought down by Ken. This money is just incentive to move on. Get the things I've wanted and desired.
Well Jack is doing better. I did two course of the Ick treatment. He's more lively. Most of the white stuff is gone. His tank is cloud y again though.
I ran into Fatty today. Got me itching for another tattoo. I got a card and he told me to stop in sometime. I would love a fattoo. (yes I did that on purpose) . I got my hearts and stars- I got my dragon. I know what's next.
What else? ummm. Oh I RSVP'ed for Amanda's shower and bachlerette party. I think I need to get to Bed"n bath.- Fuck I just checked the shower invite. If I take a cruise- I would have to be back in time for the shower on Sunday. Fuck- Fuck- FUCK - Damn it. That is going to be a bitch- Fuck it. I'm not going on vacation. I'll take day trips to the cape. I cannot miss Amanda's shower. Fucking mother fucker. God dam shit, mother fucker.
I know you're saying what's the big deal- it the shower not the wedding... true- but Amanda is my friend. A very good friend , who was very benefical in getting me ayway from Ken. I cannot thank her enough for her support.
Now what. Well I guess I'm getting that lap top. I can afford it now.

Froda made this for me. I want put in my sig. but that means I need remove one of the thing I own. I'm not ready to give up my stars or the tat. I love those banners. Froda is brillant.
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