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You best jump far

There are some truly wacked out people in this world. And most of them were on my phone today.

crazy lady #1: you need to find my pictures. I need them for Sunday.
me: well the film seperated from the envelope, can you give me a desc of what you took pictures of?
crazy lady #1: Yes. I need them for Sunday. I need to prove to God that the devil is living in my basement with 3 imps.
me: ...
crazy lady #1: The imps are like tricksters. They like to shut off my electricty and phone.
me: ...
crazy lady #1: If I prove to God that they're living in my basement, he'll rescue me.
me: You took pictures of the devil and his imps?
crazy lady #1: Yes. 3 imps.
me: I mean I've never seen imps or the devil before, and I need a description. what color hair do they have?

crazy lady #2: you people overcharged me.
me: Well from what I see here, the order was charged as black and white film. The price is correct.
crazy lady #2: but I had color film.
me: well, do your prints have color in them?
crazy lady #2: no.
me: do your negs have color? Reverse tones.
crazy lady #2: no.
me: well it sounds like you had black and white film.
crazy lady #2: I did, but I wanted color.
me: We can't add color to black and white film.
crazy lady #2: why not?
me: we the only ways to add color would be digitally or to airbrush the prints, and even then we'd be guessing as to what the actual colors should be.
crazy lady #2: well can't you tell from the negatives?
me: your negatives have no color in them.
crazy lady #2: But I don't have a black and white camera.
me: ... *mutters under breath*
twenty minutes later...
me: ... that's why you have no color in your prints or negatives and we cannot add color to them.
crazy lady #2: But where does the color go?
me: *hangs up*

crazy man #1: hello.
me: hello, how can help you?
crazy man #1: hello?
me: *raises voice* how can I help you sir?
crazy man #1: huh?
me: You've called Kodak sir, how can I help you today?
crazy man #1: why did kodak call me?
me: I didn't call you sir. You called me.
crazy man #1: I'm not on the phone.
me: *mutters* I don't think you're on the planet either.
crazy man #1: hello?
me: sir do you need help with something regarding film or pictures?
crazy man #1: You wanna see a naked picture?
me: ... wait. what?
crazy man #1: hello?
me: *hangs up*

crazy man #2: Yeah, I wanna know when you open.
me: call center hours are Monday through Friday 8:30 am to 7pm. and weekends till 5pm.
crazy man #2: What time do you close?

crazy man #3: Will you develope pictures of a natural nature?
me: *thinking* oh brother
crazy man #3: You know, nude pictures?
me: we will as long as there is no physical touching and the subject appears of age.
crazy man #3: What's the legal age?
me: 18.
crazy man #3: damn
me: pervert. *hangs up*

crazy lady #3: I need these pictures for court tomorrow, they're very important.
me: what are your pictures of?
crazy lady #3: my cat.
me: what did the cat do?
crazy lady #3: what do you mean?
me: what did your cat do that you had take pictures of for court proceedings?
crazy lady #3: ummmm...
me: *cough*liar*cough*

I also got a certificate of achievement today. Call coaching scores of 97% or above for 3 consecutive months. Whoo hoo. Big whup. Give me the freaking four hours you owe me. Bastards.


LMAO...frustrating calls for you...entertaining reading for us!!!

this is pretty insane. never had such interesting calls where i used to work.
BTW- your tv guide is in the mail. =)
wheee thanks so much! im looking forward to it. how would u like me to repay your kindness? anyways, i'll think of something. :)
Whoa…your crazy people stories always amuse me…
me: I mean I've never seen imps or the devil before, and I need a description. what color hair do they have?

LOL! Nice response there!! *laughs*

I hope you get no more crazy people calling you :)