Lala (lalablue) wrote,

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There are some truly wacked out people in this world. And most of them were on my phone today.

crazy lady #1: you need to find my pictures. I need them for Sunday.
me: well the film seperated from the envelope, can you give me a desc of what you took pictures of?
crazy lady #1: Yes. I need them for Sunday. I need to prove to God that the devil is living in my basement with 3 imps.
me: ...
crazy lady #1: The imps are like tricksters. They like to shut off my electricty and phone.
me: ...
crazy lady #1: If I prove to God that they're living in my basement, he'll rescue me.
me: You took pictures of the devil and his imps?
crazy lady #1: Yes. 3 imps.
me: I mean I've never seen imps or the devil before, and I need a description. what color hair do they have?

crazy lady #2: you people overcharged me.
me: Well from what I see here, the order was charged as black and white film. The price is correct.
crazy lady #2: but I had color film.
me: well, do your prints have color in them?
crazy lady #2: no.
me: do your negs have color? Reverse tones.
crazy lady #2: no.
me: well it sounds like you had black and white film.
crazy lady #2: I did, but I wanted color.
me: We can't add color to black and white film.
crazy lady #2: why not?
me: we the only ways to add color would be digitally or to airbrush the prints, and even then we'd be guessing as to what the actual colors should be.
crazy lady #2: well can't you tell from the negatives?
me: your negatives have no color in them.
crazy lady #2: But I don't have a black and white camera.
me: ... *mutters under breath*
twenty minutes later...
me: ... that's why you have no color in your prints or negatives and we cannot add color to them.
crazy lady #2: But where does the color go?
me: *hangs up*

crazy man #1: hello.
me: hello, how can help you?
crazy man #1: hello?
me: *raises voice* how can I help you sir?
crazy man #1: huh?
me: You've called Kodak sir, how can I help you today?
crazy man #1: why did kodak call me?
me: I didn't call you sir. You called me.
crazy man #1: I'm not on the phone.
me: *mutters* I don't think you're on the planet either.
crazy man #1: hello?
me: sir do you need help with something regarding film or pictures?
crazy man #1: You wanna see a naked picture?
me: ... wait. what?
crazy man #1: hello?
me: *hangs up*

crazy man #2: Yeah, I wanna know when you open.
me: call center hours are Monday through Friday 8:30 am to 7pm. and weekends till 5pm.
crazy man #2: What time do you close?

crazy man #3: Will you develope pictures of a natural nature?
me: *thinking* oh brother
crazy man #3: You know, nude pictures?
me: we will as long as there is no physical touching and the subject appears of age.
crazy man #3: What's the legal age?
me: 18.
crazy man #3: damn
me: pervert. *hangs up*

crazy lady #3: I need these pictures for court tomorrow, they're very important.
me: what are your pictures of?
crazy lady #3: my cat.
me: what did the cat do?
crazy lady #3: what do you mean?
me: what did your cat do that you had take pictures of for court proceedings?
crazy lady #3: ummmm...
me: *cough*liar*cough*

I also got a certificate of achievement today. Call coaching scores of 97% or above for 3 consecutive months. Whoo hoo. Big whup. Give me the freaking four hours you owe me. Bastards.

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