Then I find out from Sharlene that her counterpart at my second job asked not to train me. Why? Because she found me intimidating. Apparently me paying attention and catching when there’s a mistake is intimidating. At first I laughed about this, but the more I think about it, the more my feelings are hurt. I admit, I like to be right. But to ask not to be around someone because they like to be right is bit ego crushing.
I feel so … arghhh! I don’t even know anymore. It’s the little things.
I spent my formative years being a wallflower. My ex spent the next ten trying to make me into something other then… It took a long time to realize that I am stronger then anyone gave me credit for. I worked hard to balance being the “good girl” and being kick ass.
And I try to pretend everything’s okay. I try to ignore the niggling feelings but they are there. Inching towards the surface, etched on my skin. I just want to punch someone sometimes. Just to get it out of my system. I’d even settle for a wall at this point.
I am disenchanted with this life of mine.